我認為，慾望像是潘朵拉的盒子，你去掀開它，會看見內在中不願意承認的自己，像是：嫉妒、秘密的情感、情慾、權力、虛榮、超越道德感等不願看見黑暗，而引起內心的波瀾。
但當我們接受自己的慾望，穿越它，反而能整合自己的人格陰影，即使創傷來源是你一度覺得很爛的禮物。但如果不去凝視它，它會在夜半中鬼壓床，讓自己瘋狂而應該覺得羞恥。
佛教有一個名詞，稱作「轉化慾望之道」，慾望因無明和執著而痛苦。在佛教的路途並不是要「斷除」或「壓抑」慾望，而是將慾望轉化成燃料，成為修行的助緣，整合自己陰影的途徑。
而「凝視」慾望的過程中，要將粗大的風習，如荷花的莖蓮般引入細微身，找到痛苦的根源，並轉化它。其實我覺得這過程很難，所以我畫了一尊佛母，提醒我自己面對生命的脆弱，或原始的能量，勇敢的直面它。將束縛的枷鎖，成為解脫的翅膀，並作為探索慾望的大門，指引我前行。
作品名稱：雜色佛母 尺寸：60 cm x90 cm 媒材：油畫
----English translation by AI----
I believe desire is like Pandora's box. When you open it, you see a version of yourself you are unwilling to acknowledge: the envy, the secret emotions, the lust, the craving for power, the vanity, and other darknesses that transcend morality, stirring ripples in your heart.
However, when we accept our desires and journey through them, we can integrate the shadows of our personality, even if the source of our trauma feels like a wretched gift at first. But if we refuse to gaze upon it, it will haunt us like a nightmare in the dead of night, making us feel insane and ashamed.
There is a term in Buddhism called "the path of transforming desire." Desire becomes suffering due to ignorance and attachment. The Buddhist path is not about "eliminating" or "suppressing" desire, but rather transforming it into fuel, a supportive condition for spiritual practice, and a way to integrate one's own shadow.
In the process of "gazing" at desire, one must guide the coarse winds of habit, like drawing them through the stem of a lotus, into the subtle body to find the root of suffering and transform it.
I find this process incredibly difficult. That is why I painted a Buddha Mother, to remind myself to confront life's vulnerability, or this primal energy, with courage.
To turn the shackles of bondage into wings of liberation, and to let it be the gateway to exploring desire, guiding me forward.Practice, practice, and more practice.
Artwork Title: Buddha Mother (Buddha Matrika)
Dimensions: 60 cm x 90 cm
Medium: Oil Painting
